Not the week I expected

The week really is not turning out to be what I expected, but I guess I should know better than to have expectations.

It started off Sunday with Hedgehog giving me a shiner.

Yup, a nice, perfect black eye.

We were having a nice cuddle in bed, and then he got excited, leaned back and cracked me just below the eyebrow. He was fine. I swore something nasty and Husband told me not to be a wuss. Five minutes later, the bruise was there.

What am I going to do when Hedgehog is a teenager and towering over both of us?!?

That was the first unexpected part to the week. Monday brought the second, and honestly, I am hoping the last for this week.

Monday, was a day to ourselves. Hedgehog was at childcare and we had planned to do the aerial park. We went and I really, really wanted to love it. I have done things like this in the past. I jumped off the ski jump tower in Calgary Olympic park and zip lined down! I did the jungle swing over the rain forest in Kuranda, Australia in full Superwoman pose! I went hang gliding across the Canadian prairies! I generally love these things.

In all reality I really, really hated the aerial park. I am very disappointed. Husband and I had talked about going all summer, and it going to be a great way to finish his parental leave.

The course was described as aerial obstacles with suspension bridges and much emphasis put on the zip lines. It was 90-95% course and maybe 5% zip line. I was OK with the bridges and such. I was disappointed as the course we booked, with more zip lines was closed and we weren't informed until we got there and were re-booked on the other one. This course had many tightrope style, obstacles.

I absolutely hated it. I finished the first tightrope one and felt no sense of accomplishment, just "shit, I have to do that again?!?!". I asked the staff (who were on the ground and not keen to be asked questions) how many more there were and between the two of them they couldn't agree. 2- 6 was the answer.

So I said I am done. I stopped the course half way through, I just looked at the rest of the obstacles and thought, I don't want to do this for another 3 hours.

The thing about it is I don't feel disappointed in myself. The older I get the more I realize it is OK to say no. It is not quiting, but recognize physical, psychological and emotional limits. I would have continued if after the first tightrope I felt good, accomplished and proud of myself, but all I felt was dread, annoyance and boredom.

What really bothered me was the sense of disappointment for Husband. He finished the course on his own, but it was something we came to do together. I know he finished, but would have been happier if we finished together.

I do love the fact he told me he was proud of me for saying when I was done, and I know he has no sense of disappointment in me. Just love. And I love him.

Maybe just reminding ourselves of that is the best part of the end of parental leave?