Trying to explain the why

It was one of those mornings at the school bus stop where I just didn't know how to explain the why. 

Why the Hedgehog could not have an umbrella. 

All the other kids had one (even if his little friend was slightly unsure of carrying his sister's pink umbrella from last year).  They all had one.   The boys were using them as swords and guns and shields, and running around with them open and in front of their face. 

Friend's big system kept letting Hedgehog have hers, and I kept telling him to give it back as umbrellas are not toys, and he could really hurt himself if he fell. 

I wanted to say when you fall, but didn't. 

Hedgehog suffers from chronic low muscle tone, poor balance, and wears assistive devices to walk. 

It is never a matter of if he will fall, but when and how badly. 

Since Christmas we have had two calls from the school due to concerns about his falls, and he is still only in JK.  The first call he knocked the wind out of himself while playing in the school yard, couldn't calm down and screamed uncontrollably when they tried to look at his AFOs.  The second he fell while walking down the hallway, hit a bench and caught his armpit, but wouldn't let anyone but his mom or dad look at it. 

This morning all I could picture was him impaling himself on the umbrella or taking out his eye.  A lot of what we spend our time doing is risk avoidance.  His physio and occupational therapists have taught us well. 

Try explaining that to a four year old, while waiting for the school bus, at the same time telling him he could do everything else can, just differently. 

Sometimes the why just needs to wait.